Just ahead of him, two men got into an argument. Last week, he entered a fast food restaurant. He went on to college and, eventually, became a lawyer. He enrolled in the college courses with me and, although, it was hard, he gutted it out like he always did. I'm never gonna get out of this town, am I, Gordie?Ĭhris did get out. Last I heard, he had spent some time in jail and was now doing odd jobs around Castle Rock. Teddy tried several times to get into the Army, but his eyes and his ear kept him out. I heard that Vern got married out of high school, had four kids, and is now the forklift operator at the Arseno Lumberyard. Happens sometimes, friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant. How 'bout you?Īs time went on, we saw less and less of Teddy and Vern until, eventually, they became just two more faces in the halls. Now, I feel a whole let better about this. That's why I'm going to give him the chance of taking it back.įilthy bastard.! Okay, I take it back! I take it back! I know you didn't mean to insult my friend.

You're brother's not very polite, Eyeball. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama! The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits! But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Principal Wiggins barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins. he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. He pretended he was eating cow-plops, and rat guts in blueberry sauce. What he wanted was revenge, and right before he was introduced he'd gotten ready for it.ĭiving into his fifth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn't eating pies. What the audience didn't know was that Lardass wasn't really interested in winning. You better pace yourself if you wanna hold out, boy. Listen, I got ten ridin' on you myself, Billy-boy.Īlright, are you ready? Hands behind your backs, gentlemen! Drum roll! I guess I'm just a pussy, huh?Īnd now, the one you've all been waiting for, the four-time champion, our own, Bill Travis! Oh, who gives a fuck anyway? I just wish. I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back. Anyway, she saw her chance, and she took it. I'm sure she had her eye on that skirt for a long time. Do you think that anyone would've believed it?Īnd do you think that that bitch would have dared try something like that if it had been one of those douchebags from up on the view, if they had taken the money? So let's just say that I stole the milk money, but Old Lady Simmons stole it back from me. Yeah, yeah! It was brown and it had dots on it. And maybe the next week, Old Lady Simmons had this new suit on when she came to school. But I still got a three day vacation because it never showed up. And maybe I took it to Old Lady Simmons and told her, and the money was all there. But maybe I was sorry and I tried to give it back. Yeah, I took it! I mean, you knew I took it. No one even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I'm just one of those low-life Chambers kids. It's what everyone thinks of my family in this town. Maybe you could come into the college courses with me. I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck! You call my dad a loony again, I'll kill you.

No wonder you're acting the way you are with a loony for a father. He took your ear and he put it to a stove and burnt it off. Yeah? I'd like to see you climb over this fence and get me, fat ass!ĭon't you call me that, you little tin weasel peckerwood loony's son.

Hey, you! Stop teasing that dog, you hear me! Stop teasing him! Sonny, I'm gonna beat your ass, teasing my dog like that! Ha ha ha! Come on, Choppy! Bite my ass, Choppy! Bite my ass! Bite shit. Now he said, 'Sic'em, boy!' But what I heard was, 'Chopper! Sic balls!'

Stand by me narrator voice